The Driver's Seat

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

Soon after we married, my husband and I realized that if he is behind the steering wheel we often end up in silence in our travels together. My backseat driving eventually pushes Tom's patience beyond his limits. And Tom is a very patient man!

"Watch out!" is what spews from my lips as I brace my hand against the car door. I gasp in fear as I press my foot against the floorboard. I lean towards the center of the car in my perception of his getting too close to the edge of the road or the vehicle in the next lane as Tom passes them up. "How fast are you going?" I question, as I lean to check the speedometer. I have clenched my shirt while gasping for air and claimed to have "nearly had a heart attack." My fears cause me to want to have control. It goes unspoken, it's best if I take the driver's seat when we travel.

I allowed Tom to take the driver's seat with no hesitation on a recent getaway trip to San Francisco. I was suffering in a deep emotional depression and didn't have the desire to be in control. As I sat in the dark of night and the darkness in my mind while in the passenger's seat, Jesus had me realize something.

Jesus wanted me to know that my life could be less fearful but the choice is mine to make. It's all about control. With certainty, there will be fearful situations in life from time to time. (mental illness can cause tons of fear in itself!) But Jesus had me question myself "do you trust?" I was trusting Tom to take the wheel for a change. (And he didn't crash!)

Many things are not within my control and my attempts at trying to maintain control only proves to be frustrating. (If not for me, then those around me!) Jesus wanted me to know when to say enough, trust, and give control over to Him.

How easy is it for you to give up control?

Dear Jesus, please help me to be less controlling. I want to place my trust in you and be less fearful. Amen.