Note: This is a really long blog which took many hours over a two day span to compose. God wanted to make sure I understood the significance before sharing it. Grab a cup of coffee or a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi (my favorite) and enjoy......
While searching my Bible for what God wanted me to "get" during the earlier blog about our dog Angel, God also led me to a very important message he wanted me to understand.
In John Chapter 14 Jesus comforts his Disciples by explaining to them that he is going to His Father's House (heaven) to prepare a place for them. He said He will come back for them. He told them they know the place where he is going......
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house (heaven) there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the place where I am going." - John 14:1-4
But Thomas doubted they would know the way since they didn't even know where Jesus was going. Philip wanted proof and said it would be proof enough if they could just be shown the Father. (That would be me, the skeptical one.)
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him, and have seen him."
Philip said "Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us."
Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say 'show us the Father'? Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. - John 14:5-11
Jesus was explaining 3 Certainties: He is 1) God the Father and also 2) Jesus, the son of God. Jesus in human form was explaining that it was God who was in him, and God was doing his work through him.
So in having a hard time understanding or believing in someone I cannot see (Jesus), God led me to read John 14:11 Jesus said Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. Being the skeptical questioning one, God knows I need tangible proof of things.
I for one, have seen evidence of many of His miracles in my life. I can attest to that. At first they seemed like "coincidences" but as more and more "coincidences" started happening in my life I began to view them as "freaky" due to my skepticism.
After many tangible ways of experiencing those "freaky" incidences in my life, (which most are journaled by the way) I can honestly say because of my "transparently following Jesus" there is no doubt that miracles DO happen. God knows what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, in order for me to "get it."
So in the attempt to fulfill the "purpose" God called us to do while here on earth, it is our choice to serve as Jesus was doing. We are to obey even though we might not understand or see what the "big picture" is. But if we respond with complete faith and with complete trust and ask with sincerety by prayer in His name, (not half-heartedly) He will do anything we ask in order to bring glory to God the Father.
I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." -John 14:12-14
In my worrisome way of wondering, I have questioned how on earth am I to do as Jesus did? But along with the 1st and 2nd Certainties, in John 14:15-20 Jesus Promises the 3rd Certainty, 3) the Holy Spirit as it is explained.....
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever -- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.
The Holy Spirit is the third certainty and it is by the Holy Spirit living within us and guiding us that we can do amazing things for our Lord. This takes the pressure off of me in wondering how on earth am I going to be able to serve? A depressive ADHD "me" of all people. The timing and the place is not up to me though. I am to keep myself aligned with God's Will and in my obedience he will use me to fulfill the purpose he knit me in my mom's womb with long ago!
How wonderful it is that in this same Chapter which God led me to read, the hardest but most important question for me to "get" was also answered...
The most difficult thing for me to "get" has been knowing and believing the love Jesus has for me, especially when I often feel unlovable. Pastor Ellen and I have gone over this concept over and over again and I surely tried her patience with "not getting it." But she is very kind and never showed any irritation. And isn't it something that God would put her (a PASTOR) in my life!
There are bumper stickers or refrigerator magnets which say "Jesus loves you!" But those are just words in a statement. (well, in a song too) I understood in my head, but I did not feel Jesus' love in my heart. However, Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." - John 14:21
Jesus' love is not something to be tangibly felt. His love is not something we are able to physically feel. It is the promise of His love which we are told we are given in return for our love of Him and we show our love by obeying.
Jesus explained many things in this Chapter which God led me to find because of the messages which were sent earlier because of our dog Angel. Angel loves me very much and her love is unconditional. She is going to be sooo happy to see us when we get back home from Lake Tahoe. "Dog" spelled backwards is "God" by the way! Jesus loves me unconditionally too, but Jesus won't likely lick my face when I get "home!" (to Heaven)
I realize that the Holy Spirit is in me and it is because of the Spirit, my ability to have faith and trust will come more easily now. That's because my faith and trust is in HIM. There isn't reason for me to worry about how or when I will serve because that would mean having faith and trust in myself, which I certainly lack.
This is eactly what God wanted me to read today. God's timing is wonderful and he led me to read this at a time when it would be so easy for me to understand, and God knew rather than saying "Huh?" I would finally say "Ohhhhh, I get it!"
Indeed, there are 3 Certainties in life which would be........
Death, Taxes and Suzie asking questions and wondering why.
And by asking questions and wondering why, I am able to tell you there are 3 more Certainties in life which are of more importance and they are.......
Our Father, Son and The Holy Spirit!
By the way, there are 3 other Certainties which are Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love. - 1 Corinthians 13
Now I KNOW and BELIEVE that Jesus loves me and I am able to tell him "back at 'cha!"
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
No Coin Toss Allowed
Before we left home two days ago there was much confusion in my mind. (MORE than usual for an ADHD me. hahahaha) In my typical impatient ADHD spoiled selfish way, I want things to happen NOW and I often want it to be MY way. My mood became very depressed. Depression is nothing new to me. It is something I am very familiar with and I don't like it.
Working on one's self takes a whole lot of effort. Many people tell me I "think too much" and they don't say it in a way that is complementary. My "thinking too much" is viewed as a flaw. Well helloooo, that's why I have so many questions! That's why I wonder why! But I know what people mean when they tell me that, because sometimes it even drives me nuts when I am not able to shut my brain off. Sigh.
When I have time to "think too much" that often leads to an all too common depressive episode which is not a good thing for an intense ADHD me. When you're "intense" you tend to experience things very DEEPLY. When I'm happy, it's more like being ecstatic! When I'm sad, it's more like I am in deep mourning. When my feelings have been hurt, it's more like "I'm wounded and I think I need to be admitted into intensive care." When I am mad, it's more like "get outta the way because the volcano will likely erupt!!" And if I get depressed, sometimes it's like "just go away and let me die." These are no exaggerations by the way. Being diagnosed as "intense" was part of the results of psychological testing I went through five years ago.
But God knit me in my mom's womb with "intensity" on purpose. Depression is something I've dealt with for most of my adult life and I have spent many hours in therapy sessions at various times over the past 27 years.
Becoming a mother in 1997 was more than my mind and emotions could take and I became severely depressed. After six years of "ruining my son" with my poor parenting skills, I sought out therapy once again but THIS time I welcomed giving medications a try. It was more like "GIVE ME SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!" I was always WAY too stubborn to accept the doctor's prescription for an anti-depressant in years past . "I don't need medication" had always been my foolish thick-headed opinion. HA! What a jackass. hee haw.
Thank God I was also diagnosed with ADHD at that time. That came clear out from left field and was a TOTAL shock to me. For more than a year I read everything I could get my hands on and nothing other, than books about ADHD. What a shocking discovery! I thought to myself "Is MY picture on the cover of this book?"
The shock was combined with disbelief, which after more than a year turned to deep sadness and hurt. (Intensity, remember?) No wonder why school was difficult for me. No wonder why I was made to stand in the corner with tape over my mouth in second grade. No wonder why my report cards said "Suzie needs to spend less time socializing and more time on her class work."
Along with the sadness and hurt, anger soon came along. I felt so misunderstood. I felt sorry for myself for what "could have been." School took so much effort that I didn't want to try. A few people knew of my diagnosis but treated it as a joke or some kind of excuse for being forgetful or confused or having difficulties in not understanding instructions and such.
Only very recently have I become "okay" with my diagnosis. Yes, I often get very frustrated and hate when I forget what I went to the other room for. All too often, I'm going to say something and the thought fades before it can be shared. I get frustrated and sometimes very angry with myself. People who know me just laugh at me, and most of the time I am able to laugh along with them. Admittedly, sometimes my feelings are hurt.
Even my son knows me too well in saying "MOM! ADHD moment, stick to the topic at hand!" Zack made me laugh my head off in telling me that when I veered off the topic I was speaking about while driving, and said "Oooooo look at that horse!" That's the wide angeled vision God knit me with. Some call it distractibility. HA! I beg to differ!
And in getting ready for our trip up here to South Lake Tahoe, packing was a nightmare as usual. After three trips to the bedroom to get something and forgetting, I said "Oh I remember what it was now!" Zachary started telling me something when Tom interrupted with "Shhhhh, mom's trying to remember something, don't distract her." Thank God for an understanding husband and son who love me no matter what.
People who don't know me (or even those who do) don't know the hidden disability God knit me with. The unseen anxiety which goes on within. The fear of speaking and saying something impulsively and making a fool of myself. The doubts about myself which cause low self-esteem. These are just a few of my many, many, many "issues" I have to deal with.
But now with Jesus in my life, I have his support and understanding. His Father knit me in my mom's womb this way on purpose after all. I have hated it too. I haven't like who I am. I have always felt "different." Being "different" is nothing to embrace. Especially when you're Japanese. But this is who I am and this is how God "wired" my brain.
Our outlook on life is controlled by our attitude. Is the glass half-empty or is the glass half-full? Is there nothing positive to see in a negative situation? It's up to us to decide which way we want to think and live our lives. Do I choose to be happy or do I choose to be miserable? Is being knit in my mom's womb with ADHD and depression a "flaw" or is that a "gift?"
I have come to realize that being created by God in this exact way is not something I only accept but it is something I am to embrace. My "flaws" can be seen as "gifts" if I allow myself to think of them that way. Instead of saying "poor me" I can chose to say "wow, how blessed I am!" The choice is mine. And as it was clearly explained to me through reading Scripture today.....
"Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." - 1 Corinthians 10:23 & 24
The choice is mine to make about how I view the way God chose to make me because everything is permissible after all. The question I need to ask myself is whether my view is constructive. Are my "flaws" really "flaws" to me?
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. My "flaws" can be used as a "gift" to help others deal with similar "disabilities." I am not to seek my own good, but the good of others.
Not limiting the choice to the attitude of what I think of myself, I am also to choose the way that I view EVERYTHING. It isn't like flipping a coin. The choice is mine to make.
So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of god. - 1 Corinthians 10:31
Working on one's self takes a whole lot of effort. Many people tell me I "think too much" and they don't say it in a way that is complementary. My "thinking too much" is viewed as a flaw. Well helloooo, that's why I have so many questions! That's why I wonder why! But I know what people mean when they tell me that, because sometimes it even drives me nuts when I am not able to shut my brain off. Sigh.
When I have time to "think too much" that often leads to an all too common depressive episode which is not a good thing for an intense ADHD me. When you're "intense" you tend to experience things very DEEPLY. When I'm happy, it's more like being ecstatic! When I'm sad, it's more like I am in deep mourning. When my feelings have been hurt, it's more like "I'm wounded and I think I need to be admitted into intensive care." When I am mad, it's more like "get outta the way because the volcano will likely erupt!!" And if I get depressed, sometimes it's like "just go away and let me die." These are no exaggerations by the way. Being diagnosed as "intense" was part of the results of psychological testing I went through five years ago.
But God knit me in my mom's womb with "intensity" on purpose. Depression is something I've dealt with for most of my adult life and I have spent many hours in therapy sessions at various times over the past 27 years.
Becoming a mother in 1997 was more than my mind and emotions could take and I became severely depressed. After six years of "ruining my son" with my poor parenting skills, I sought out therapy once again but THIS time I welcomed giving medications a try. It was more like "GIVE ME SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!" I was always WAY too stubborn to accept the doctor's prescription for an anti-depressant in years past . "I don't need medication" had always been my foolish thick-headed opinion. HA! What a jackass. hee haw.
Thank God I was also diagnosed with ADHD at that time. That came clear out from left field and was a TOTAL shock to me. For more than a year I read everything I could get my hands on and nothing other, than books about ADHD. What a shocking discovery! I thought to myself "Is MY picture on the cover of this book?"
The shock was combined with disbelief, which after more than a year turned to deep sadness and hurt. (Intensity, remember?) No wonder why school was difficult for me. No wonder why I was made to stand in the corner with tape over my mouth in second grade. No wonder why my report cards said "Suzie needs to spend less time socializing and more time on her class work."
Along with the sadness and hurt, anger soon came along. I felt so misunderstood. I felt sorry for myself for what "could have been." School took so much effort that I didn't want to try. A few people knew of my diagnosis but treated it as a joke or some kind of excuse for being forgetful or confused or having difficulties in not understanding instructions and such.
Only very recently have I become "okay" with my diagnosis. Yes, I often get very frustrated and hate when I forget what I went to the other room for. All too often, I'm going to say something and the thought fades before it can be shared. I get frustrated and sometimes very angry with myself. People who know me just laugh at me, and most of the time I am able to laugh along with them. Admittedly, sometimes my feelings are hurt.
Even my son knows me too well in saying "MOM! ADHD moment, stick to the topic at hand!" Zack made me laugh my head off in telling me that when I veered off the topic I was speaking about while driving, and said "Oooooo look at that horse!" That's the wide angeled vision God knit me with. Some call it distractibility. HA! I beg to differ!
And in getting ready for our trip up here to South Lake Tahoe, packing was a nightmare as usual. After three trips to the bedroom to get something and forgetting, I said "Oh I remember what it was now!" Zachary started telling me something when Tom interrupted with "Shhhhh, mom's trying to remember something, don't distract her." Thank God for an understanding husband and son who love me no matter what.
People who don't know me (or even those who do) don't know the hidden disability God knit me with. The unseen anxiety which goes on within. The fear of speaking and saying something impulsively and making a fool of myself. The doubts about myself which cause low self-esteem. These are just a few of my many, many, many "issues" I have to deal with.
But now with Jesus in my life, I have his support and understanding. His Father knit me in my mom's womb this way on purpose after all. I have hated it too. I haven't like who I am. I have always felt "different." Being "different" is nothing to embrace. Especially when you're Japanese. But this is who I am and this is how God "wired" my brain.
Our outlook on life is controlled by our attitude. Is the glass half-empty or is the glass half-full? Is there nothing positive to see in a negative situation? It's up to us to decide which way we want to think and live our lives. Do I choose to be happy or do I choose to be miserable? Is being knit in my mom's womb with ADHD and depression a "flaw" or is that a "gift?"
I have come to realize that being created by God in this exact way is not something I only accept but it is something I am to embrace. My "flaws" can be seen as "gifts" if I allow myself to think of them that way. Instead of saying "poor me" I can chose to say "wow, how blessed I am!" The choice is mine. And as it was clearly explained to me through reading Scripture today.....
"Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible" -- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." - 1 Corinthians 10:23 & 24
The choice is mine to make about how I view the way God chose to make me because everything is permissible after all. The question I need to ask myself is whether my view is constructive. Are my "flaws" really "flaws" to me?
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. My "flaws" can be used as a "gift" to help others deal with similar "disabilities." I am not to seek my own good, but the good of others.
Not limiting the choice to the attitude of what I think of myself, I am also to choose the way that I view EVERYTHING. It isn't like flipping a coin. The choice is mine to make.
So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of god. - 1 Corinthians 10:31
Monday, July 14, 2008
God's Amazing Handiwork
Just before arriving at our Timeshare here in South Lake Tahoe a hawk flew right past our car so close to the windshield I could nearly see his feet!
The hawk was a tangible way for me to experience the fact that God is always watching us like a hawk. That thought made me smile and with a slight sigh of relief I thought this week would be a good one.
Late this morning Tom, Zachary and I went fishing at Cave Rock and within 30 minutes or so a black bear came to pay us a visit and he was less than 100 yards away! The bear kept his distance from everyone and he didn't display any behaviors for anyone to be fearful of.
His ear was "tagged" with a red tag which from what I understand means that he's "not so nice." He looked harmless to me. But what do I know? The only bears I have ever seen were in zoos!
The Ranger lady honked her horn to try to scare the bear away from those of us who were fishing. I felt some sadness for the bear who was all alone. This bear is one of God's amazing creatures and man has infringed upon his natural habitat after all. The bear didn't do anything wrong. He was just minding his business sauntering about the land which God has provided for him.
As we fished (but didn't catch anything) a mallard duck floated by. Oh the beauty of God's nature we were enjoying while fishing! -- I also wondered why in the world would a fish want to eat psychedelic colored Power Bait? Surely fish eat whatever yummy thing God provides them with and I doubt it looks anything like the bait we were using. No wonder why we didn't catch any fish!
God's living creatures and this amazing first time, in-person bear experience was obviously some sort of message from God. I searched my Bible and the grandeur of God's handiwork is what I was led to find.
In Job 12:7-10 it says "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind."
God knows I need tangible things to experience his presence and His miracles so he sent this "grand" black bear today to shock me into learning about the grandeur of His handiwork! Wow! I wonder what tangible thing God will send next?!? I can hardly wait!
The hawk was a tangible way for me to experience the fact that God is always watching us like a hawk. That thought made me smile and with a slight sigh of relief I thought this week would be a good one.
Late this morning Tom, Zachary and I went fishing at Cave Rock and within 30 minutes or so a black bear came to pay us a visit and he was less than 100 yards away! The bear kept his distance from everyone and he didn't display any behaviors for anyone to be fearful of.
His ear was "tagged" with a red tag which from what I understand means that he's "not so nice." He looked harmless to me. But what do I know? The only bears I have ever seen were in zoos!
The Ranger lady honked her horn to try to scare the bear away from those of us who were fishing. I felt some sadness for the bear who was all alone. This bear is one of God's amazing creatures and man has infringed upon his natural habitat after all. The bear didn't do anything wrong. He was just minding his business sauntering about the land which God has provided for him.
As we fished (but didn't catch anything) a mallard duck floated by. Oh the beauty of God's nature we were enjoying while fishing! -- I also wondered why in the world would a fish want to eat psychedelic colored Power Bait? Surely fish eat whatever yummy thing God provides them with and I doubt it looks anything like the bait we were using. No wonder why we didn't catch any fish!
God's living creatures and this amazing first time, in-person bear experience was obviously some sort of message from God. I searched my Bible and the grandeur of God's handiwork is what I was led to find.
In Job 12:7-10 it says "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind."
God knows I need tangible things to experience his presence and His miracles so he sent this "grand" black bear today to shock me into learning about the grandeur of His handiwork! Wow! I wonder what tangible thing God will send next?!? I can hardly wait!
No Co-Winky Dinks
Before leaving for our trip to South Lake Tahoe on Sunday we had to drop off our dog at the kennel. She is a very spoiled house dog who is very attached to me. (I am spoiled and attached to her too!) It made me very sad to think of her missing us. It made me sad that she would not understand why she was being made to stay at a kennel, possibly all alone.
Before Tom left the house with Angel he happened upon a missing dog charm which had been on Angel's collar but it was lost more than a year ago! The dog charm has an angel on it and the charm reads "Guardian Angel, Keep My Pet Safe." Tom reassured me by saying "See, she will be just fine, how much more of a message from God do you need than that??"
When Tom returned he explained with some astonishment himself, "She will be just fine and this is no co-winky-dink either...." There was a lady dropping off her poodle at the very same time, and Tom said to me "Guess what that dog's name is?......"That dog's name is SUZIE."
Tom also overheard the lady say she would be back to pick up "Suzie" on Friday which is the same day we will pick up Angel. God knew Angel would be missing me and I would be missing her. But Angel and "Suzie" will keep eachother company!
In searching my Bible to see what the underlying message is that I am suppose to "get" I found John 14:1 which says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
Pastor Ellen told me long ago via e-mail "you are a transparent follower of Jesus" which in my typical ADHD response I said "HUH??" Pastor Ellen e-mailed back explaining "you have a hard time understanding things which you cannot see or have not experienced." To which I typed back "Ohhhh, huh?" I was still confused somewhat since I hadn't experienced much back then.
Knowing that I need tangible things in order for me to "get them" through experiencing them, God sends messages in various ways to cause me to question and wonder why. In doing so, God leads me to the section of my Bible to experience what he wants me to know.
This message from God through our dog Angel, is the first short chapter of the amazing things God is having me experience on this trip to Lake Tahoe. There is no such thing as "co-winky dinks" by the way. Instead they are God's miracles!
And while here in South Lake Tahoe for only one day, God had me experience even more of His miracles and soon those experiences will be blogged so you can see them too.
In my "transparency" God wants me to share the miracles he is doing in my life and it is my great honor to do so. Hallelujah!
Before Tom left the house with Angel he happened upon a missing dog charm which had been on Angel's collar but it was lost more than a year ago! The dog charm has an angel on it and the charm reads "Guardian Angel, Keep My Pet Safe." Tom reassured me by saying "See, she will be just fine, how much more of a message from God do you need than that??"
When Tom returned he explained with some astonishment himself, "She will be just fine and this is no co-winky-dink either...." There was a lady dropping off her poodle at the very same time, and Tom said to me "Guess what that dog's name is?......"That dog's name is SUZIE."
Tom also overheard the lady say she would be back to pick up "Suzie" on Friday which is the same day we will pick up Angel. God knew Angel would be missing me and I would be missing her. But Angel and "Suzie" will keep eachother company!
In searching my Bible to see what the underlying message is that I am suppose to "get" I found John 14:1 which says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."
Pastor Ellen told me long ago via e-mail "you are a transparent follower of Jesus" which in my typical ADHD response I said "HUH??" Pastor Ellen e-mailed back explaining "you have a hard time understanding things which you cannot see or have not experienced." To which I typed back "Ohhhh, huh?" I was still confused somewhat since I hadn't experienced much back then.
Knowing that I need tangible things in order for me to "get them" through experiencing them, God sends messages in various ways to cause me to question and wonder why. In doing so, God leads me to the section of my Bible to experience what he wants me to know.
This message from God through our dog Angel, is the first short chapter of the amazing things God is having me experience on this trip to Lake Tahoe. There is no such thing as "co-winky dinks" by the way. Instead they are God's miracles!
And while here in South Lake Tahoe for only one day, God had me experience even more of His miracles and soon those experiences will be blogged so you can see them too.
In my "transparency" God wants me to share the miracles he is doing in my life and it is my great honor to do so. Hallelujah!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Nowhere to Hide
Do you ever have times when you're so down in the dumps that you're in a very dark place in your mind? Do you ever have moments where you just want the world to go away and leave you alone? Where you just want to pull the covers over your head instead of facing the day? When you don't want anyone to cheer you up because you just want to be left alone in your misery? And in those times do you even wish that Jesus would leave you alone too? It's kind of like hosting a "pity-party for one" and not wanting anyone to "crash" it.
But the Psalmist wrote, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?....Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you." - Psalm 139: 7, 12
In those "dark" moments Jesus is there waiting patiently. (probably tapping his toes and checking his watch every now and again? - Naw) He waits and waits and waits for the "pity-party" to be over and when we finally get over those self-imposed sorrowful feelings, Jesus is there waiting to embrace us.
Jesus doesn't abandon us just because we've turned our backs to him. He loves us all the time and will never give up on us. Even if we try to push him away from us, he won't budge. There is nothing we can try to do that will MAKE him go away. There is nothing we can try to do that will MAKE him not love us. And if we try to run away from him we can't even find anywhere to "hide!"
(The LORD GOD) tends his flock like a Shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. - Isaiah 40:11
So in those pitiful "dark" times when we crumple and have a "meltdown" Jesus knows our weakness and he gathers us up in his arms and carries us close to his heart. When the pity-party is over he wipes our tears away. Then he sets us back down and he takes us by the hand giving His reassurance of his never ending love.
When we're ready to face the world again and move forward, he walks right along side of us at our pace. - - Not in front of us leading or dragging us, not pushing us forward from behind, but walking right along side of us stepping in time.
We aren't promised a life of ease and it would be unrealistic for us to expect it. The "dark" times may be unavoidable but in John 16:33 Jesus said "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Jesus doesn't want us to lose heart in our times of trouble. He just wants us to know that we always have him to lean on when we feel like the burden is too much for us to carry! And as the Psalmist wrote, You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. - Psalm 32:7
Isn't it great that Jesus is so very patient. Isn't it great that he never gives up on us, especially when we can be like stubborn mules!
Thank you Jesus. Thank you for never giving up on me even when I feel like giving up on you. Amen.
But the Psalmist wrote, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?....Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you." - Psalm 139: 7, 12
In those "dark" moments Jesus is there waiting patiently. (probably tapping his toes and checking his watch every now and again? - Naw) He waits and waits and waits for the "pity-party" to be over and when we finally get over those self-imposed sorrowful feelings, Jesus is there waiting to embrace us.
Jesus doesn't abandon us just because we've turned our backs to him. He loves us all the time and will never give up on us. Even if we try to push him away from us, he won't budge. There is nothing we can try to do that will MAKE him go away. There is nothing we can try to do that will MAKE him not love us. And if we try to run away from him we can't even find anywhere to "hide!"
(The LORD GOD) tends his flock like a Shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. - Isaiah 40:11
So in those pitiful "dark" times when we crumple and have a "meltdown" Jesus knows our weakness and he gathers us up in his arms and carries us close to his heart. When the pity-party is over he wipes our tears away. Then he sets us back down and he takes us by the hand giving His reassurance of his never ending love.
When we're ready to face the world again and move forward, he walks right along side of us at our pace. - - Not in front of us leading or dragging us, not pushing us forward from behind, but walking right along side of us stepping in time.
We aren't promised a life of ease and it would be unrealistic for us to expect it. The "dark" times may be unavoidable but in John 16:33 Jesus said "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Jesus doesn't want us to lose heart in our times of trouble. He just wants us to know that we always have him to lean on when we feel like the burden is too much for us to carry! And as the Psalmist wrote, You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. - Psalm 32:7
Isn't it great that Jesus is so very patient. Isn't it great that he never gives up on us, especially when we can be like stubborn mules!
Thank you Jesus. Thank you for never giving up on me even when I feel like giving up on you. Amen.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Life's River Rapids
Life doesn't always go the way we think it should be going. Some of us have certain expectations in our minds of where we think we should be at certain points in our lives. How much money do we have set aside for a "rainy day?" How much money do we have saved for kids' college funds? How much money do we have set aside for our retirement?
In addition, other stressors in our everyday lives sometimes attack us producing worry and anxiety. Sometimes when things seem SO overwhelming and scary we might feel like we're traveling down the "river rapids" on our journey through life, and WE all too often try to take control and steer the boat in the direction WE think it is supposed to be going. God never promised a life of ease though, and sometimes we might even feel that we've fallen overboard!
In our times of fear and attempting to take control, some of us even forget where Jesus is in our lives! We don't remember to rely on Him, and instead we try to handle things all on OUR own power, forgetting that Jesus is right beside us riding the river rapids too. But in Psalm 118:6, the psalmist wrote, "with the LORD on my side I do not fear..."
So when the unexpected "river rapids" come at us on our journey through life (which God did not promise would be a life of ease) it is important to remember When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;....the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you....For I am the LORD your God....your Savior. - Isaiah 43:2,3
And in those times of riding the river rapids in our lives, if we should happen to fall overboard, isn't it reassuring that we have Jesus as our life jacket! Hallelujah and Amen to that!
In addition, other stressors in our everyday lives sometimes attack us producing worry and anxiety. Sometimes when things seem SO overwhelming and scary we might feel like we're traveling down the "river rapids" on our journey through life, and WE all too often try to take control and steer the boat in the direction WE think it is supposed to be going. God never promised a life of ease though, and sometimes we might even feel that we've fallen overboard!
In our times of fear and attempting to take control, some of us even forget where Jesus is in our lives! We don't remember to rely on Him, and instead we try to handle things all on OUR own power, forgetting that Jesus is right beside us riding the river rapids too. But in Psalm 118:6, the psalmist wrote, "with the LORD on my side I do not fear..."
So when the unexpected "river rapids" come at us on our journey through life (which God did not promise would be a life of ease) it is important to remember When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;....the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you....For I am the LORD your God....your Savior. - Isaiah 43:2,3
And in those times of riding the river rapids in our lives, if we should happen to fall overboard, isn't it reassuring that we have Jesus as our life jacket! Hallelujah and Amen to that!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Star Gazing
Here in the country we can see far a wide since our homes are on five acre parcels. In the morning we can watch the sunrise from our backyard (except I am NOT an early bird so that would be rare for me!) and at dusk we can watch the sunset from our front yard. Late at night (God knit me in my mother's womb as a night owl after all) we can sit in our yard or lie on our backs on the lawn and peacefully gaze at the moon and the many stars.
It was amazing to think that up and down the state of California or even in other states or other parts of the world, anyone who looks up at the sky can pretty much see the same things we are seeing!
It reminded me of the song from Disney's "It's a Small World...."
It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes, it's a world of fears, there's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world.
There is just one moon and one golden sun and a smile means friendship to everyone, though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide, it's a small small world......
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world!"
Psalm 19:1 says The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Tom purchased a real star for me as a Christmas gift in the first year that we were dating. There is a country song that Tracy Byrd sings and it goes like this......
"I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars, He sure knew what He was doing when he joined these two hearts...."
Getting off track, sorry. But I DO thank "The Keeper of the stars" for putting Tom in my life and "for joining our two hearts." Tom truly was the very first blessing I received from God in my adult life.
Anyway back to my star. My very own star is registered with the U.S. Library of Congress, Copyright Office and it is insured against duplication by Lloyd's of London. I completely forgot that I had a star of my own until I was star gazing the other night.
That's when the thoughts in my ADHD brain realized that God created everything I was gazing at and it was so amazing! So now when I think about "star number MAG 08.5 RA 14h 23m 37.95s Dec+14o 18' 31.41" being named "Suzie," it is so very awesome to think that one of God's grand creations in His small, small world, is named after an ADHD me! How amazing! Thank you very much God! You are so awesome in deed!
It was amazing to think that up and down the state of California or even in other states or other parts of the world, anyone who looks up at the sky can pretty much see the same things we are seeing!
It reminded me of the song from Disney's "It's a Small World...."
It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes, it's a world of fears, there's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world.
There is just one moon and one golden sun and a smile means friendship to everyone, though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide, it's a small small world......
It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world!"
Psalm 19:1 says The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Tom purchased a real star for me as a Christmas gift in the first year that we were dating. There is a country song that Tracy Byrd sings and it goes like this......
"I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars, He sure knew what He was doing when he joined these two hearts...."
Getting off track, sorry. But I DO thank "The Keeper of the stars" for putting Tom in my life and "for joining our two hearts." Tom truly was the very first blessing I received from God in my adult life.
Anyway back to my star. My very own star is registered with the U.S. Library of Congress, Copyright Office and it is insured against duplication by Lloyd's of London. I completely forgot that I had a star of my own until I was star gazing the other night.
That's when the thoughts in my ADHD brain realized that God created everything I was gazing at and it was so amazing! So now when I think about "star number MAG 08.5 RA 14h 23m 37.95s Dec+14o 18' 31.41" being named "Suzie," it is so very awesome to think that one of God's grand creations in His small, small world, is named after an ADHD me! How amazing! Thank you very much God! You are so awesome in deed!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Unconditional Love
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, (and mothers!) do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:1-4
I was very unhappy with my son's behavior the other day which caused much frustration because as usual I didn't know what to do to correct it. My typical hot-headed ADHD impulsive response is to scowl and make some sort of disapproving response which of course doesn't change the unacceptable behavior. Prior to being diagosed and being prescribed medication, I would almost always explode with yelling my disapproval!
Not knowing how to handle certain situations sometimes brings up those typical self-destructive thoughts which I often have. I'm not a good mother. I'm stupid and inept. I'm ruining my son. He's not behaving nicely. If I were doing a better job as a parent he wouldn't be behaving this way.
With much sadness and frustration I talked it over with Tom and he and I agreed that our son needed not only to be talked to, but we also needed to assign some sort of consequence for his actions. (Better to learn about consequences at a younger age so he won't be fired from his first job?)
Tom understands the deep frustrations I have with myself for not knowing what to say or do. (Not only in the area of parenting, but that's another story in itself!) Tom had me role-play and I practiced what I would say. We agreed that I would be the one to talk with Zack but Tom would be nearby to "prod me along." (I tend to get distracted and get off track or go on and on for too long.)
My "motherly-talking to" went just fine. Well, a few times Tom had to wave his hand in a rolling motion to prod me along, but overall it went very well and the consequence for Zack's actions is "no computer for one week."
As sad as my son's disappointing behavior was, it made me realize the sadness our Father God must feel when we do things that are disappointing to him. I explained to Zack that even though I didn't like his behavior I still loved him and I stressed to him that I will ALWAYS love him no matter what.
Today I realized that God's love is the same and even more! I will surely mess up and disappoint God in too many ways (shamefully) but God is always forgiving and his love is unconditional.
Children aren't born with an instruction sheet attached to them, but the Bible offers the greatest instructions for parenting and more! In reading my Bible and referring to it more often, it will help me immensely so I won't exasperate my son with ranting and raving. Instead I will try my best to bring him up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4 Ahhh, I feel less frustrated already! Thank you God!
I was very unhappy with my son's behavior the other day which caused much frustration because as usual I didn't know what to do to correct it. My typical hot-headed ADHD impulsive response is to scowl and make some sort of disapproving response which of course doesn't change the unacceptable behavior. Prior to being diagosed and being prescribed medication, I would almost always explode with yelling my disapproval!
Not knowing how to handle certain situations sometimes brings up those typical self-destructive thoughts which I often have. I'm not a good mother. I'm stupid and inept. I'm ruining my son. He's not behaving nicely. If I were doing a better job as a parent he wouldn't be behaving this way.
With much sadness and frustration I talked it over with Tom and he and I agreed that our son needed not only to be talked to, but we also needed to assign some sort of consequence for his actions. (Better to learn about consequences at a younger age so he won't be fired from his first job?)
Tom understands the deep frustrations I have with myself for not knowing what to say or do. (Not only in the area of parenting, but that's another story in itself!) Tom had me role-play and I practiced what I would say. We agreed that I would be the one to talk with Zack but Tom would be nearby to "prod me along." (I tend to get distracted and get off track or go on and on for too long.)
My "motherly-talking to" went just fine. Well, a few times Tom had to wave his hand in a rolling motion to prod me along, but overall it went very well and the consequence for Zack's actions is "no computer for one week."
As sad as my son's disappointing behavior was, it made me realize the sadness our Father God must feel when we do things that are disappointing to him. I explained to Zack that even though I didn't like his behavior I still loved him and I stressed to him that I will ALWAYS love him no matter what.
Today I realized that God's love is the same and even more! I will surely mess up and disappoint God in too many ways (shamefully) but God is always forgiving and his love is unconditional.
Children aren't born with an instruction sheet attached to them, but the Bible offers the greatest instructions for parenting and more! In reading my Bible and referring to it more often, it will help me immensely so I won't exasperate my son with ranting and raving. Instead I will try my best to bring him up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4 Ahhh, I feel less frustrated already! Thank you God!
Friday, July 4, 2008
No Favorites
Does God listen to the prayers of some people more than he does of others?
I think God DOES listen more to the prayers of some people but ONLY because they pray MORE OFTEN than others do in the first place!
With ADHD and the many distractions and thoughts bouncing around in my mind at rapid-fire speed, it is often next to impossible to even THINK of asking for prayer. Sometimes I start to pray and I lose my train of thought! Then I joke with God saying "oh well, you know ALL so you already know what I need prayer for anyway!"
But seriously, God knit me in my mother's womb with the sense to use methods of compensation for my many deficiencies and one method is for me to journal. Journaling my prayer requests helps to keep me focused and it is also a great way for me to look back on those requests some time later and realize the prayers were answered!
From the very first day, at the beginning of the week while at Mt. Hermon, I felt the urge to approach Pastor Wayne and Pastor Rene and any other influential person I was able to meet so that I could let my prayer request be known and share the exciting yet fearful news of the Church Plant I am involved in with Pastor Ellen. I was so happy that God also had me bump into Junko which provided the opportunity for me to share my prayer concerns with her too!
On Friday morning at Mt. Hermon, (the last day) God had me realize something very important which I shared with the members in my small group. I admitted to them about how I was looking for "influential" people all week long while at Mt. Hermon so they could pray for me, Pastor Ellen, and God's Church in general. But fortunately God had me realize that He listens to EVERYONE'S prayer requests equally. It doesn't matter WHO requests the prayer because everyone's concerns are important to God and he doesn't play favorites.
So in meeting with my small group on Friday morning as our week at Mt Hermon was winding down, I asked ALL of them for their prayers but at that time I was so confused and frustrated that I didn't even know WHAT my prayer request about our Church Plant should be anymore! How stupid was that?
But God knew which sheep to pair me up with in small group number 23 during the week at Mt. Hermon. (23 happens to be my favorite number by the way) These wonderful small group members were JUST AS influential as anyone else in asking for prayer because God listens to each and every prayer of ALL of his sheep equally. How wonderful is that for me to have realized!
It was during the last small group meeting of the week, after some hesitation and wondering on my part, my response for what my prayer request should be was "I don't know, I guess I need prayer for trust, faith and patience for sure."
By Friday evening on the way to the last evening worship of the week, God had me realize that the prayers from my small group members were answered. All week long my prayer concern was for Pastor Ellen, me, and the efforts of planting God's Church. However, I realized that in my prayer I failed to acknowledge the most important part, and that was for me to know that I MUST be willing to accept Thy will be done. (Matthew 6:10)
During Pastor Wayne's last sermon on that same Friday evening at the end of a week at Mt. Hermon, God had me realize even more of what he wanted me to "get" and fortunately God had prompted me to bring my journal with me so I was able to take notes from the messages God was SHOUTING at me through Pastor Wayne's sermon.
God wanted me to know that I am to "Trust in the Lord when I don't understand" which is what Pastor Wayne explained in his sermon. We don't have a crystal ball. We don't have any "blueprints" for building God's Church. It isn't up to me to be in control. It isn't up to me to take the wheel and steer things my way. In planting God's Church, God wants me to let go, let God, put complete trust in him and just obey. I guess that's where the term "blind faith" comes from. God wants me to just submit to him.
I am to Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways acknowledge him, and he will make my paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5
I think God DOES listen more to the prayers of some people but ONLY because they pray MORE OFTEN than others do in the first place!
With ADHD and the many distractions and thoughts bouncing around in my mind at rapid-fire speed, it is often next to impossible to even THINK of asking for prayer. Sometimes I start to pray and I lose my train of thought! Then I joke with God saying "oh well, you know ALL so you already know what I need prayer for anyway!"
But seriously, God knit me in my mother's womb with the sense to use methods of compensation for my many deficiencies and one method is for me to journal. Journaling my prayer requests helps to keep me focused and it is also a great way for me to look back on those requests some time later and realize the prayers were answered!
From the very first day, at the beginning of the week while at Mt. Hermon, I felt the urge to approach Pastor Wayne and Pastor Rene and any other influential person I was able to meet so that I could let my prayer request be known and share the exciting yet fearful news of the Church Plant I am involved in with Pastor Ellen. I was so happy that God also had me bump into Junko which provided the opportunity for me to share my prayer concerns with her too!
On Friday morning at Mt. Hermon, (the last day) God had me realize something very important which I shared with the members in my small group. I admitted to them about how I was looking for "influential" people all week long while at Mt. Hermon so they could pray for me, Pastor Ellen, and God's Church in general. But fortunately God had me realize that He listens to EVERYONE'S prayer requests equally. It doesn't matter WHO requests the prayer because everyone's concerns are important to God and he doesn't play favorites.
So in meeting with my small group on Friday morning as our week at Mt Hermon was winding down, I asked ALL of them for their prayers but at that time I was so confused and frustrated that I didn't even know WHAT my prayer request about our Church Plant should be anymore! How stupid was that?
But God knew which sheep to pair me up with in small group number 23 during the week at Mt. Hermon. (23 happens to be my favorite number by the way) These wonderful small group members were JUST AS influential as anyone else in asking for prayer because God listens to each and every prayer of ALL of his sheep equally. How wonderful is that for me to have realized!
It was during the last small group meeting of the week, after some hesitation and wondering on my part, my response for what my prayer request should be was "I don't know, I guess I need prayer for trust, faith and patience for sure."
By Friday evening on the way to the last evening worship of the week, God had me realize that the prayers from my small group members were answered. All week long my prayer concern was for Pastor Ellen, me, and the efforts of planting God's Church. However, I realized that in my prayer I failed to acknowledge the most important part, and that was for me to know that I MUST be willing to accept Thy will be done. (Matthew 6:10)
During Pastor Wayne's last sermon on that same Friday evening at the end of a week at Mt. Hermon, God had me realize even more of what he wanted me to "get" and fortunately God had prompted me to bring my journal with me so I was able to take notes from the messages God was SHOUTING at me through Pastor Wayne's sermon.
God wanted me to know that I am to "Trust in the Lord when I don't understand" which is what Pastor Wayne explained in his sermon. We don't have a crystal ball. We don't have any "blueprints" for building God's Church. It isn't up to me to be in control. It isn't up to me to take the wheel and steer things my way. In planting God's Church, God wants me to let go, let God, put complete trust in him and just obey. I guess that's where the term "blind faith" comes from. God wants me to just submit to him.
I am to Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways acknowledge him, and he will make my paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5
All week long I had hoped to journal but nothing came with ease. Thursday night I "happened" to have my journal with me while in the Field House rec room and the pen flowed freely.
Friday night after the sermon there was opportunity for sharing. God had prompted me to bring along my journal with the many pages of inspiration from the night before. The Holy Spirit was in this ADHD scatter-brained lamb and He prompted me to get up and share.
Flying by the seat of my pants, or "wingin' it" while public speaking is the worst idea for an ADHD lamb to even consider. I had my journal though. Without hesitation I got up and stood before the many people there. I skimmed through my journal and read the majority of what was journaled the night before but threw in some typical ADHD "random thoughts" in addition.
In my ADHD way of taking too much time to get to the point, Pastor Sam interrupted and asked Pastor Ellen to pray for me. I didn't have the opportunity to share the last minute realizations God had given me.
In the week since coming back from Mt. Hermon, in my typical negative thinking way, I have been beating myself up in my mind with what I said, how I said it, and thinking I made a fool of myself as usual. I know in my head that I am only to be concerned with what God's opinion of me is. I know in my head that people think it was brave of me to have gotten up to share. (because a few people told me so) In my heart however, it is hard for me to believe that God would be proud of the mere attempt at trying to be a disciple.
Now after a week of digesting what happened to me at Mt. Hermon, I realize this was all part of God's plan. My ADHD live-in-person testimony on Friday night was interrupted for a reason.
God knew the testimony as it was, was incomplete. God knew my testimony could be shared more clearly with fewer ADHD random-thought moments. God knew that if given the oppportunity to better organize my testimony, it could have more of an impact and it could be shared with many more people than just those in attendance on Friday night at the end of a week at Mt. Hermon.
So God wants me to spend the next moments, hours, DAYS as it will likely be, to compose my testimony before sharing it completely. That is what I am to do. That is what God had planned from the beginning. So in obeying God, that is what I will start working on and if you're interested check back later to see just how that will unfold.
*note: Thank you to the members in small group number 23: Danny, Melanie, Terence, Flora, Jason, Carrie, Brian, Kiku and Dave for your prayers!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Fine Tuned
Does God speak more to some people than he does to others?
I brought my journal with me to Mt. Hermon and I wanted to go off into the wilderness to a spot where I could be alone and listen for any messages God might have for me. There wasn't an opportunity for that to happen with all the activities or "interference" blocking the "reception" for this ADHD lamb to "get" what God would want me to know.
When you listen to a radio the dial has to be adjusted or "fine tuned" or the station won't come in clearly enough because of the static interference. Not being tuned in makes it nearly impossible to know what the song and music is because the static noise is interfering.
Having ADHD or not, the hustle and bustle of everyday life makes it's hard to hear what God might be trying to say. God wants me to make the effort to slow down more often. Kick back. Relax. Be still. In doing so, the fog in my brain lifts (well, medication helps that too) and my mind is clearer and better able to receive the messages from God.
Having ADHD makes it difficult to filter out the distractions which constantly bombard me. EVERYTHING gets my attention and the many thoughts bouncing around in my mind like a ball in a pinball machine, causes a lot of "static interference" in my ability to stay focused.
But that's how God knit me in my mother's womb so God knows to send me tangible ways of getting my attention then KEEPING my attention long enough for me to wonder why. In wondering why, I search my Bible to find the answer to the question which God had the answer to without my realizing that I had a question in the first place! Huh? What did I just say?
The point is, if God can get through the static interference in the mind of an ADHD lamb, then He can get through the static interference in ANYONE and allow them to receive His messages too. I am PROOF of that and I suppose that is part of God's purpose for me!
So adjust your "satellite dish" today (that would be your ear, I suppose!) and kick back, relax, listen, be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) have a journal and pen in hand and be ready to write down the message God has for you. Maybe you won't have to write down God's messages but I find that in doing so I can look back and read God's messages over and over again and this ADHD lamb usually says "Ohhh, I remember now and I get it again!" And if God has a sense of humor, he is most likely rolling his eyes, sucking his teeth and saying "DUH!" -- ha ha ha! God is good indeed!
I brought my journal with me to Mt. Hermon and I wanted to go off into the wilderness to a spot where I could be alone and listen for any messages God might have for me. There wasn't an opportunity for that to happen with all the activities or "interference" blocking the "reception" for this ADHD lamb to "get" what God would want me to know.
When you listen to a radio the dial has to be adjusted or "fine tuned" or the station won't come in clearly enough because of the static interference. Not being tuned in makes it nearly impossible to know what the song and music is because the static noise is interfering.
Having ADHD or not, the hustle and bustle of everyday life makes it's hard to hear what God might be trying to say. God wants me to make the effort to slow down more often. Kick back. Relax. Be still. In doing so, the fog in my brain lifts (well, medication helps that too) and my mind is clearer and better able to receive the messages from God.
Having ADHD makes it difficult to filter out the distractions which constantly bombard me. EVERYTHING gets my attention and the many thoughts bouncing around in my mind like a ball in a pinball machine, causes a lot of "static interference" in my ability to stay focused.
But that's how God knit me in my mother's womb so God knows to send me tangible ways of getting my attention then KEEPING my attention long enough for me to wonder why. In wondering why, I search my Bible to find the answer to the question which God had the answer to without my realizing that I had a question in the first place! Huh? What did I just say?
The point is, if God can get through the static interference in the mind of an ADHD lamb, then He can get through the static interference in ANYONE and allow them to receive His messages too. I am PROOF of that and I suppose that is part of God's purpose for me!
So adjust your "satellite dish" today (that would be your ear, I suppose!) and kick back, relax, listen, be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) have a journal and pen in hand and be ready to write down the message God has for you. Maybe you won't have to write down God's messages but I find that in doing so I can look back and read God's messages over and over again and this ADHD lamb usually says "Ohhh, I remember now and I get it again!" And if God has a sense of humor, he is most likely rolling his eyes, sucking his teeth and saying "DUH!" -- ha ha ha! God is good indeed!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Smell of Death or Fragrance of Life?
Tom set up the lawn chairs in the front yard this evening so Zachary, Tom & I could watch the beautiful sunset. Tom saw something moving in the distance and thought it was a cat. As the creature walked up the lawn and came nearer to us Tom noticed it was a SKUNK!! Oh no!! We rushed Angel inside the house right away so her curiosity wouldn't get the best of her. How awful would THAT have been to have a house-dog reek of a skunk?....Oh the thought!! My my my.
Almost instantly I said aloud, "I wonder what message this skunk has for me?" It took only five minutes or so and this is what God wanted to share......
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? - 2nd Corinthians 2:14-16
Who would have ever imagined that God, through an ADHD ME, could use ME to spread everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him?? Yes, God knit me in my mother's womb with ADHD with a purpose in mind. Now that purpose is coming to fruition for God's Glory and I am blessed to be that ADHD instrument for Him without saying "Now what was I gonna say?" Hallelujah!! God is good!!
Almost instantly I said aloud, "I wonder what message this skunk has for me?" It took only five minutes or so and this is what God wanted to share......
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? - 2nd Corinthians 2:14-16
Who would have ever imagined that God, through an ADHD ME, could use ME to spread everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him?? Yes, God knit me in my mother's womb with ADHD with a purpose in mind. Now that purpose is coming to fruition for God's Glory and I am blessed to be that ADHD instrument for Him without saying "Now what was I gonna say?" Hallelujah!! God is good!!
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