Unconditional Love

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" - which is the first commandment with a promise - "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, (and mothers!) do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:1-4

I was very unhappy with my son's behavior the other day which caused much frustration because as usual I didn't know what to do to correct it. My typical hot-headed ADHD impulsive response is to scowl and make some sort of disapproving response which of course doesn't change the unacceptable behavior. Prior to being diagosed and being prescribed medication, I would almost always explode with yelling my disapproval!

Not knowing how to handle certain situations sometimes brings up those typical self-destructive thoughts which I often have. I'm not a good mother. I'm stupid and inept. I'm ruining my son. He's not behaving nicely. If I were doing a better job as a parent he wouldn't be behaving this way.

With much sadness and frustration I talked it over with Tom and he and I agreed that our son needed not only to be talked to, but we also needed to assign some sort of consequence for his actions. (Better to learn about consequences at a younger age so he won't be fired from his first job?)

Tom understands the deep frustrations I have with myself for not knowing what to say or do. (Not only in the area of parenting, but that's another story in itself!) Tom had me role-play and I practiced what I would say. We agreed that I would be the one to talk with Zack but Tom would be nearby to "prod me along." (I tend to get distracted and get off track or go on and on for too long.)

My "motherly-talking to" went just fine. Well, a few times Tom had to wave his hand in a rolling motion to prod me along, but overall it went very well and the consequence for Zack's actions is "no computer for one week."

As sad as my son's disappointing behavior was, it made me realize the sadness our Father God must feel when we do things that are disappointing to him. I explained to Zack that even though I didn't like his behavior I still loved him and I stressed to him that I will ALWAYS love him no matter what.

Today I realized that God's love is the same and even more! I will surely mess up and disappoint God in too many ways (shamefully) but God is always forgiving and his love is unconditional.

Children aren't born with an instruction sheet attached to them, but the Bible offers the greatest instructions for parenting and more! In reading my Bible and referring to it more often, it will help me immensely so I won't exasperate my son with ranting and raving. Instead I will try my best to bring him up in the training and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4 Ahhh, I feel less frustrated already! Thank you God!